“Sex is an emotion in motion” – Mae West

Let’s preface by saying that no two girls are ever the same. What turns some of them on is turn-off for others. (But hey, same goes for guys, right?) What we’ve got are some universal rules of seduction. The beauty of them is that they are flexible enough to adapt to your woman’s style – as well as yours!

So take heed, fellas. These tips will keep the sizzle in your relationship well after you’ve…em…reached your goal. Here are some tried-and-tested tips to ignite her fire. Read on:

Cook for Her

By “cook for her” we’re not saying you should bake a cake, and frankly, we wouldn’t even recommend it – unless you’re ready to exchange your hot plans for a cuddle-and-cake movie night.

That said, if you’re an exceptionally talented baker by all means make something ever-so-scrumptious for her. Yet, even if your culinary skills are moderate, don’t underestimate how impressed she can be at the effort you took to surprise and please her. This also gives her a chance to kick back and relax, without the pressure to cook for you.

However, this is a case of less is more. You want a delicious meal that is as low-fuss as possible. Ideally, you should cook when she’s around, pouring her a drink while you chop, dash a little of this and that, and mix and pour your goodies. Tip: stick to light, appetizing fare.

And speaking of appetizers, try offering choices. This is a fun, suggestive way to work up her appetite, showing that you have more than one thing up your sleeve. (Don’t sate her appetite yet – entice it!) If you master the art of serving appetizers, you may very well turn this stage into a prelude of actual foreplay. In the kitchen (hot hot hot!).

Word to the wise lover: Heavy food and too much alcohol won’t do you any favors.

Be generous with Compliments (Honest Ones!)

Few women can resist a genuine compliment. Sure, you already think she’s hot – and yup, you should definitely often remind her of it – but if you’re hoping she’d slip into that thong you got her, drop a hint about how great she looks wearing it. She might laugh it off at first, but the comment will linger in her mind.

In addition, if you can specify all the things you find irresistible about her, chances are she’ll get encouraged. If you dig the way she smells after the gym, tell her. If the cleavage drives you wild, say it. If her walk wiggle takes you on a ride, say, well…that her walk is very, very sexy. Women are verbal…they respond to hearing sexy things about themselves much in the same way as men respond to seeing sexy things on themselves.

Listen to her

Casanova is known to have said, “I don’t conquer, I submit.” One can take this statement in a number of ways. But for a lover as notoriously prodigious as he was, Casanova’s words may very well mean “I succumb to what women want.” Smart man. In seeing that his chances of getting what he wants is intimately tied with her getting what she wants, he throws in the towel, as if saying “Hey, I’m all yours. Lead me to the treasures…”

And lead she will…by listening to her cues, her body language, her pauses – as well as what she actually says – you’ll be that much closer to reading her moans.

Think of a Tango dance. Two people watching each other’s cues, matching moves, and slipping into a groove. The formula: tension, build-up, and release. As the expression goes “It takes two to tangle” – if your sex antennae is up and tuned into her, you’ll be tangling up the sheets in no time.

Focus on Foreplay

We can’t overstate the emphasis on foreplay. And by foreplay, we don’t mean three hours’ worth of it; rather, a strategic build-up of sexy moves. Unlike most guys, women are very aware of their erogenous zones (their neck, earlobes, shoulders, navel, inner thighs, as well as the more obvious nipples and clitoris). These erogenous zones provoke titillating sensations when gently, moderately, and intensely fondled. Although women differ in their level of response to certain areas, attention to her zones is crucial to arousal.

This is where listening to her comes in. The more you know and explore her body – and her responses to each part – the better. Sex experts advise men to realize how much touching their partners need before being hot enough for intercourse. (1)

But what kind of touching?

Lou Paget, author of How to Be a Great Lover (Broadway Books, 1999), recommends working her up with the so-called “swirl” – slow, circular motions and waves in her erogenous zones. The swirl is said to stimulate nerve endings more than caressing her in straight lines.

Working up her ecstasy, you’ll be primed for the final act, which may come much sooner than you think.

But before then, you have a few memorable courses to look forward to.

Enjoy your night!